Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
