Me. At least after what I've been through.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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