i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
