Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
