Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
