Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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