It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
