Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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