I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
