I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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