butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
