Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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