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I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
