Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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