before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
