so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm like, not good at living.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
