he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Randomize
