i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize