THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
