Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
