I showed him my bush... on skype.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
