I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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