if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Randomize
