Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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