dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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