I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
