she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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