i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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