why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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