I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
