did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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