the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
