you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You ate ashes out of my bong
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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