Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
