HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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