She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
