just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
