well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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