Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
