You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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