I'm jealous of your bromance
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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