I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
This house was built for laser tag.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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