Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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