And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
