After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
