Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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