just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
