i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
