Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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