Non-Jews are for practice
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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