So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
